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Friday, October 31, 2014

How To Scare A Fangirl

Happy Halloween! In the spirit of the holiday, I have written a guide to scaring a fangirl.

How to scare a Whovian

  • Give them a statue (especially of an angel) and/or say, "Don't blink". 
  • Stare at something and look scared, then when they ask what's wrong, say, "Dorry, what?" or "I forgot". Bonus points if you also draw tally marks on your arms. 
  • Yell "EXTERMINATE" in an angry, machine-like voice. 
  • Tell them they have two shadows. 
  • Look them in the eye and say, "Your song is ending". 

How to scare a Sherlockian

  • Tell them "I owe you."
  • Shout "vatican cameos". 
  • Say something about Moriarty. 
  • In your most evil voice, ask "Did you miss me?"

How to scare a Potterhead

  • Say "Voldemort". 
  • Casually mention making seven horcruxes. 
  • Point a wand (or something that looks like a wand) at them and shout one of the unforgivable curses.
  • Tell them they could be killed, or worse, expelled. 

How to scare a Trekkie

  • Always wear a red shirt (or force them to always wear red shirts). 
  • Speak only in Klingon. 

How to scare a Merlinian

  • Say that you saw Morgana heading this way. 
  • Claim that you are Emrys, and you are furious with them. 
  • Start chanting in the dragon language. 
  • Start reciting a harmful spell you've learned from watching Merlin. 
  • State that they have been found to be a sorcerer and will be burned at the stake. 

I know that's only a few fandoms, but they're the only ones I could think of. Feel free to add more in the comments. 

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