Monday, June 2, 2014

Geeky/Fandom Excuses and Insults

Do you have to come up with excuses so frequently that you're starting to get a bit redundant? It's time to add some new ones to your repertoire. These are some excuses you can use.

When you're late:
  • A student is never late, nor is he/she early. He/she arrives precisely when he/she means to. [pick which pronoun to use depending on your gender]
  • It's all sort of... wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.
  • They took the hobbits to Isengard. I had to save them.
  • I got kidnapped by [insert villain's name here].
  • I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
  • I was afraid to turn left, so I kept going in circles.
  • I accidentally went into Mirkwood and got lost.
  • I had to take a detour to throw the one ring into the fire in Mordor.
  • There will be a day when I am on time... but today is not that day!
  • I was selected to participate in the Hunger Games. You should be glad I'm here at all!
  • I had to go chase a criminal.
  • I got distracted by a boggart.
  • Dobby wouldn't let me through.
  • I had to stop Voldemort from killing us all.
  • I had to feed my dragon.
  • I had to help princess Leia because I'm her only hope.
  • I was waiting for Wesley. My Wesley will always come for me.
  • I set the entire world in an eternal winter, and I had to figure out how to fix it.
When you don't have your homework:
  • My dragon burned it.
  • Sauron stole it.
  • It turned out to have a secret evil alien message in it, so I had to destroy it.
  • Somebody used it as scrap paper and put it into the goblet of fire.
  • I lost it in Narnia.
When somebody insults you or your fandom:
  • Thank you for your input. *slams the door*
  • [insert Shakespearean insult here]
  • Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!
  • Don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ level of the whole street.
  • You're so thick, you're Mr. Thick Thickaddy Thickface from Thick Town, Thickania!
  • You shall not pass!
  • May the odds be never in your favor!
  • You pathetic, factionless person!
  • Go eat nightlock!
  • Auta miqula orqu! (Go kiss an orc!) [or any other Elvish insult]

And that's all I've got at the moment. Comment and let me know what your favorite geeky/fandom excuse or insult is.