No More (Doctor Who fanfiction)

This was originally written for a contest at The Star Cult. Enjoy!

What have I done? The thought echoes in my mind as I escape the chaos. What have I done! I've killed them. I've killed them all. I am a murderer. Gallifrey falls. The end has come. I am despicable. I've killed them all. I've got a new face, but it can't rid me of the guilt. I cannot live with myself. I can live no longer. I am the last of the Time Lords, and I am the reason there are no more. Oh, the agony! I can hear their tortured screams. I am a man with blood on his hands. I am a god, but I may just as well be a demon for all I have done.

Why me? Why did I have to be the one to do it? Why did I have to kill them? I didn't want to! I had to! There was no other way! I'd rather die than kill. I would never use a gun. And yet I murdered them. Every last one. I can never, ever forget.

I am alone. The thought cuts me like a knife, it burns like the weapon I used to kill them. No more will I see those wonderful Gallifreyans. No more will I be with my people. I will lament them forever. I am a broken man.

I need a friend. But how could I ever care about someone again? I just destroyed everything I ever loved. What if I have to do it again? No, it is better to be alone. I can't put anyone through all the pain I've suffered. I will live the rest of my life friendless and alone.

But I don't want to live anymore. What reason do I have to exist? I have nothing to care about, no-one to love. The universe can save itself, for all I care. I want to die. I want to leave forever, rather than live in eternal shame. I hate this all. I hate everyone. I hate the Daleks.

Hate. Daleks. The Daleks hate. I cannot be a Dalek. I am a Time Lord. I must make them proud. I must live all the lives they wish they could have had. I can't let them down. They would not want me to leave, for then there would be no Time Lords at all. I must live for them. In memory of Gallifrey, I press on.

I can never forget who I am, and I can never forget what I did. I can never forget that I am a murderer. But I can try to change. No more will I kill; I'd rather die first. No more will I commit genocide. I can never forget my sacrifice for the good of the universe, and I chose the universe, so I must continue to protect it. The universe falls no more. I can never forget the sacrifice of my people. I will do everything in their honor. If only in my hearts, Gallifrey stands.